Let It Go

I don’t care to tell people I’m reading Self Help. The term carries a stigma as if I’m sitting here, crying, “Help me!” I’m not. Not that I never have. 54-year-old Crystal has learned to be so much kinder to herself than many of her earlier selves—maybe because of these recent books. If I had read any of them, let’s say ten years ago while experiencing a schizophrenia-low with my son, or back in 2017 when a hurricane flooded me, my family, and lots of things out of our home and we lived in a hotel ten months while rebuilding, or in 2020 when my mother died followed by my dog, or even last year when I experienced a cancer low, the timing might not have connected to an open mind. In my personal experience, if I believe something will work, it will. If I say, “There’s no way,” then I’m also right. This is why words have power—especially the words we reserve for ourselves. So—I would say these books fall into the genre of Self Kindness.

In November, I read The Emotion Code.

An entire post @ this link.
A one-sentence synopsis: If you hold onto negative emotions, they will become trapped in your body and make you sick, so let them go.
My take-away: With God’s help, I started letting go of the emotions that do not serve me, and voila! Life looks brighter.

In December and January, I read Atlas of the Heart.

Another post @ the link.
Another synopsis: Brené Brown and her team of researchers explore eighty-seven emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human.
My take-away: We’re all human. That means we all make mistakes. That means we must forgive both ourselves and others. So (see The Emotion Code synopsis)—LET IT GO. The research explains our emotions in detail, so we can better understand exactly what to release. A must read.

In January and February, I read The Untethered Soul.

I didn’t write a post.
Synopsis: LET IT GO, and your soul will be free.
My take-away: The more we judge others as well as situations, the more we judge ourselves. Life will have challenges. Release judgement of the challenges and challenging people and self. Pain and suffering are just things. Temporary things. Perhaps God will help if we ask. In my experience, He does.

There were times when reading a couple of these books that I became a little annoyed at the repetitive nature. I could’ve thought, “This is stupid,” and reshelved the book or left it on the porch for Goodwill. Instead, I kept an open mind, persevered to the end, found pieces worth appreciating, and started the next book on the list.

Now I’m reading The Four Agreements. It’s subtitled A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom and A Toltec Wisdom Book. Another must-read in my humble opinion.

The 1^st Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word

“We must understand what power comes out of our mouths…Your opinion comes from your beliefs, your own ego…When you are impeccable (literal translation “without sin”), you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself [or others]…If I love myself I will express that love in my interactions with you, and then I am being impeccable with the word, because that action will produce a like reaction.”
Don Miguel Ruiz

The agreements that follow are all based on the first one, and I’m seeing more LET IT GO:

The 2^nd Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
The 3^rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
The 4^th Agreement: Always Do Your Best

I’ve noticed that the more I surround myself with good thoughts and energy, uplifting words and people, the more vibrant and healthy and at peace I feel. Of course, there’s always that tiny voice in my head that says, “Let’s see how you’ll handle the next (fill-in-the-blank).” Cue the evil laughter. I’m learning to let that go.

Well, recently I had a biopsy to confirm my clean bill of health. One week later, I received a call that included the words “cancer” and “surgery.” I wrote everything down. On Friday, March 15, I will have a little lumpectomy to scoop out those cells. I’ve known for over a year this would be a possibility, and I feel as if I’ve been training for this moment. I still feel vibrant and healthy and at peace. And to maintain the good, I’m talking with God, letting go of certain emotions, and turning off today’s comments. These are the last things I’ve learned.

Daily writing prompt

What is the last thing you learned?

View all responses

Atlas of the Heart

A Book Review

While traveling for the holidays, I downloaded the audio of Brené Brown’s latest book Atlas of the Heart, Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. I drove and listened and clicked the button that flags the important stuff. Upon finishing, I counted my bookmarks, 113, and laughed out loud. Throughout January, I relistened to those parts, bought more hard copies for friends, and flipped pages before parting with these gifts. I took notes as if I were in school and ended up with close to 6000 words in a Word document. I reread my notes, highlighted my best takeaways, and can’t stop having conversations about this book. Brown and her team of researchers explore eighty-seven emotions and experiences (87!) that define what it means to be human. Writers need this, right? Doesn’t everyone?

I grew up in a family that didn’t talk about feelings. Maybe this is normal. I remember crying (quite often) to my mother. She would hug me and say, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” I said time and again. Call it a childish lack of self-awareness. Maybe it’s normal not to understand how we’re feeling. I’m curious how often we deny the truth. At some point, shouldn’t we be able to name our emotions in connection to our experience? How else can we let go of the baggage we carry?

“Our hurt feelings are typically experienced simultaneously with other emotions, such as sadness, anger, anxiety, jealousy, or loneliness. As a result, they don’t always feel the same way, as most other emotions do…Our reactions to hurt feelings can be self-blaming, or we might cry, lash out, or retaliate by trying to hurt the other person, and/or seek out other relationships to find comfort. When reparation doesn’t seem possible, hurt feelings can turn into anger or sadness.”
Brené Brown p. 200

Brené explains my tears as normal along with other common reactions. I find this helpful in understanding not only myself but also others. We’re all prone to hurt feelings (that carry a range of emotions), but a brave, honest, simple, vulnerable way to deal with them is to say, “My feelings are hurt.” I could have used this information earlier in my life, but it’s never too late to practice.

Brown’s work defines the nuance between awe and wonder, joy and happiness, guilt and shame, jealousy and envy. All topics are easily located through the table of contents. Before writing this book, Brown believed resentment was part of the anger family. Research revealed that resentment is part of envy.

“Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgment, anger, “better than,” and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they’re going to react.”
Brené Brown p. 33

Brown taught me when I start to feel resentful, instead of thinking about what the other person is doing “wrong” or what they “should” be doing, I should think, What do I need but am afraid to ask for?

There’s so much good psychology here. It proved an impossible feat to choose my top ten takeaways. So here are just fifteen more:

15.

“Researchers believe that rumination is a strong predictor of depression, makes us more likely to pay attention to negative things, and zaps our motivation to do the things that would improve how we feel” (79).

14.

“Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice” (224).

13.

“While some people disagree with me, I firmly believe that regret is one of our most powerful emotional reminders that reflection, change, and growth are necessary. In our research, regret emerged as a function of empathy. And, when used constructively, it’s a call to courage and a path toward wisdom” (53).

12.

“Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism. Perfectionism is not striving to be our best or working toward excellence. Healthy striving is internally driven. Perfectionism is externally driven by a simple but potentially all-consuming question: What will people think?” (142)…

“Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it often sets you on the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis” (144-145).

11.

“The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. It’s difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us. This research has taught me that if we really want to practice compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior” (128).

10.

“Empathy is an other-focused emotion. It draws our attention outward, toward the other person’s experience. When we are truly practicing empathy, our attention is fully focused on the other person and trying to understand their experience. We only have thoughts of self in order to draw on how our experience can help us understand what the other person is going through.

Shame is an egocentric, self-involved emotion. It draws our focus inward. Our only concern with others when we are feeling shame is to wonder how others are judging us. Shame and empathy are incompatible. When feeling shame, our inward focus overrides our ability to think about another person’s experience. We become unable to offer empathy. We are incapable of processing information about the other person, unless that information specifically pertains to us” (141).

9.

“Contempt is one of the most damaging of the four negative communication patterns that predict divorce. The other three are criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling….

Contempt, simply put, says, ‘I’m better than you. And you are lesser than me’” (226-228).

8.

“Researcher Frank Fujita writes, ‘Social comparisons can make us happy or unhappy. Upward comparisons can inspire or demoralize us, whereas downward comparisons can make us feel superior or depress us. In general, however, frequent social comparisons are not associated with life satisfaction or the positive emotions of love and joy but are associated with the negative emotions of fear, anger, shame, and sadness’” (21).

7.

“Across my research, I define connection as the energy that exists between two people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship…

The RTC (Relational-Cultural Theory from the Stone Center at Wellesley) sees disconnections as normative and inevitable in relationships; they occur when one person misunderstands, invalidates, excludes, humiliates, or injures the other person in some way. Acute disconnections occur frequently in all relationships. If they can be addressed and reworked, they are not problematic; in fact, they become places of enormous growth” (169).

6.

“Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else…True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are” (162).

5.

Researchers Alice Huang and Howard Berenbaum “found that people who are more secure are more willing to be vulnerable with others. If we are comfortable with our own weaknesses (self-secure), we are more successful at being emotionally close to others and more likely to have healthy relationships” (174).

4.

“Connection, along with love and belonging, is why we are here, and it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Shame is the fear of disconnection—it’s the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection” (137).

3.

“On one of the instruments that measures contentment, 71 percent of the variance in life satisfaction is measured by a single item: “All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole these days?”

This leads to the age-old question: If we’re not satisfied with our life as a whole, does this mean we need to go get and do the stuff that will make us satisfied so we can be content, or does this mean we stop taking for granted what we have so we can experience real contentment and enoughness?” (211).

2.

“It appears that many of the emotions that are good for us—joy, contentment, and gratitude, to name a few—have appreciation in common…

There is overwhelming evidence that gratitude is good for us physically, emotionally, and mentally. There’s research that shows that gratitude is correlated with better sleep, increased creativity, decreased entitlement, decreased hostility and aggression, increased decision-making skills, decreased blood pressure—the list goes on…

Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others” (214).

1.

“Our connection with others can only be as deep as our connection with ourselves. If I don’t know and understand who I am and what I need, want, and believe, I can’t share myself with you. I need to be connected to myself, in my own body, and learning what makes me work” (272).

Books and More Books

I need a dedicated bookshelf for the books I’ve not read. I scanned my home in search of them, pulling them from nightstand stacks and windowsills and the top of my desk. There are more boxed up from my classroom collection. Some were highly recommended and some were gifts. Some I bought and some were free. Meanwhile, I’m finishing two. The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride (historical fiction) and The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer (spiritual nonfiction). I’m enjoying my time with both. I don’t read fast.

I read half of *Ducks, Newburyport* long ago.
(Stream-of-consciousness and a single long sentence.)

Maybe you can judge a book by its cover.
In brown paper, this one said, “Yo!”

Lavender didn’t match my stacks.
If I ever publish, good to know.

Yesterday I stumbled across a list of “600 Books to Be Considered Very Well-Read.” If you’ve read 600 books, in my humble opinion, you’re well-read. I’m working toward that, but I counted 120 books read from the list and many authors I want to read— like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and William Faulkner, E. M. Forster and Neil Gaiman, Kazuo Ishiguro and C. S. Lewis. I want to read more Virginia Woolf, Haruki Murakami, Sylvia Plath, Markus Zuzak, Toni Morrison, Vladimir Nabokov, Dickens, Bradbury, and the Brontë sisters. Then there are those times when people say, “You’ve got to read this.” And a new book usurps them all.

In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict

Petulia was a five-pound baby born to a mother with schizophrenia. (My son has paranoid schizophrenia, and I can only imagine the effect of the illness on an unborn child.) Petulia’s mother abandoned her in an empty Chicago apartment at five months old, where she remained hungry and soiled, crying and alone, for an estimated five to seven days. When the janitor found Petulia, she weighed seven pounds, not only malnourished but also denied of oxytocin, emotional bonding, and maternal attachment. Police officers scooped her up and left her in an unfamiliar foster home with other abandoned children, later to be adopted as Katherin Elizabeth.

Dr. KE Garland reveals her own story of trauma compounded by more trauma. Her early abandonment led to internalized rejection, boundary issues, and codependency. In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict depicts the secrecy of a double life and one woman’s journey to understand and heal herself and her relationships. Garland’s memoir is well-researched, compelling, and eye-opening. As a person, she is scientifically self-aware and unflinchingly brave. Don’t we all have some healing to do?

Copperfield and Copperhead

At age twelve, Charles Dickens quit school and began work in a shoe blacking factory. Around the same time, his father went to debtor’s prison, where the family joined him, yet twelve-year-old Dickens lived on his own. “The horrific conditions in the factory haunted him for the rest of his life, as did the experience of temporary orphanhood” (*sparknotes).

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens bears significant autobiographical elements, depicting the grim realities of Victorian England and the Industrial Revolution. Orphaned and facing hardships, David narrates the story of his troubled childhood and overcomes adversities such as abuse and institutional poverty. Not to spoil the ending, but David ultimately discovers himself, the love of his life, and success as an author.

“Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record that I was born (as I have been informed and believe) on a Friday, at twelve o’clock at night. It was remarked that the clock began to strike, and I began to cry, simultaneously.”
Charles Dickens, David Copperfield, p. 1

It’s one-gutsy move to take on a retelling of Dickens, a move that paid off for Barbara Kingsolver. Her novel Demon Copperhead won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 2023. Damon Fields (nicknamed Demon—Copperhead for his red hair) tells his own story of trauma, losing his mother, enduring the foster care system, and battling the rampant opioid crisis within the Appalachia region—the author’s own home turf. Reading David Copperfield first isn’t necessary; however, part of the fun (in an otherwise heart-wrenching story) is seeing how Kingsolver uses her source material.

“First, I got myself born. A decent crowd was on hand to watch, and they’ve always given me that much: the worst of the job was up to me, my mother being let’s just say out of it.”
Barbara Kingsolver, Demon Copperhead, p. 1

David and Demon both face abuse at the hands of their stepfathers. Mr. Murdstone in the former. Murrell Stone, AKA Stoner, in the latter. Our protagonists eventually escape their situations and journey far distances to their only living relatives. For David, his dead father’s aunt Betsey Trotwood. For Demon, his dead father’s mother Betsy Woodall. Both ladies live with Mr. Dick, a distant relative in the Dickens and Betsy’s younger brother in the Kingsolver. Finding family serves as a turning point. In the Kingsolver, Mr. Dick is confined to a wheelchair. In both novels, he is perceived as simple-minded, while he is probably the smartest and kindest character of all.

There is a scene when Demon observes Mr. Dick writing sentences all over his kite in perfect handwriting: “Dispute not with her: she is a lunatic” … (ha ha) … “And if I die no soul will pity me. And why should they since I myself find in myself no pity to myself”… and more from the book he has been reading, Shakespeare’s Richard III. Allow me to excerpt the passage of the first time Demon and Mr. Dick fly the kite:

The clouds had bellied up since morning and a stout wind was kicking up outside, turning the leaves upside down and silvery. Mr. Peg always said that meant rain on the way. I asked Mr. Dick if his kite was ready to fly, and he said it was. Then let’s do it, I said. I got a shiver in my spine. Maybe that’s what my brain had been telling me all day: Run. Go fly a kite.

He looked pretty shocked, but he said okay, he just had one more thing to write on it. I tried to be patient, with him being the slowest writer. He said this one was from a different book, some words he wanted to put up there for me. He wrote them at the very top:

Never be mean in anything. Never be false. Never be cruel. I can always be hopeful of you.

If that was from him to me, it was more man-to-man talk than I’d ever had in life so far…. I said, Okay, let’s do this thing.
Barbara Kingsolver, Demon Copperhead, p. 209-210

Of course, I had to Google the quote, and lo and behold, Mr. Dick of Demon Copperhead was quoting Dickens via Betsey Trotwood in David Copperfield. My heart just about burst with admiration for Barbara Kingsolver. Plus, that’s what kids need.

It’s what we all need. Someone to say:

Lit Class in a Book

I love a good literature class—and stories that make me think. Left to my own devices, I will finish a short story and often feel I’ve missed something. Good literary fiction, in my humble opinion, is best enjoyed through further contemplation and conversation.

Since 1997, George Saunders has taught creative writing in the Syracuse University MFA program. Each year 600-700 hopeful students apply, and Syracuse accepts 6. What are the odds I could get in? (Rhetorical question.) Saunders’s most beloved class explores the Russian short story in translation. Thanks to his book, A Swim in the Pond in the Rain (subtitled In Which Four Russians Give a Master Class on Writing, Reading, and Life), I’m lucky student #7 with a golden ticket into a George Saunders class. His passion for Russian literature is infectious.

In this class, I read seven short stories—by Chekhov, Turgenev, Tolstoy, and Gogol. And each one left me a bit befuddled, you know, as if I were missing something. Professor Saunders then explains the types of dimensions that develop over two decades in a collegiate classroom while discussing stories with the 1% who make the program. He dissects the storytelling techniques of patterns and causality, digression and escalation, organization and omission. Along the way, I felt a little smarter about these Russian short stories, the craft of writing, and life.

On Escalation:

“(I sometimes joke with my students that if they find themselves trapped in exposition, writing pages and pages in which their action doesn’t rise, all they need to do is drop this sentence into their story: ‘Then something happened that changed everything forever.’ The story has no choice but to respond.)”
Saunders 138

Notice his use of parentheses. Even after 22 years of English teaching, I forget how to properly punctuate parentheses. There seems to be more than one rule. Based on the above quote, I believe the ending parenthesis follows the period only if the entire sentence is in parentheses. Grammarly verifies I’m right and adds—if the period is part of a larger sentence, it goes outside the parenthesis (like this). What do the parentheses add to Saunders point? (Feel free to discuss in the comments.)

On Causality:

“There are two things that separate writers who go on to publish from those who don’t.

First, a willingness to revise.

Second, the extent to which the writer has learned to make causality.

‘The queen died, and then the king died’ (E. M. Forster’s famous formulation) describes two unrelated events occurring in sequence. It doesn’t mean anything. ‘The queen died, and the king died of grief’ puts those events into relation; we understand that one caused the other. The sequence, now infused with causality, means: ‘That king really loved his queen.’”
Saunders 226-227

I admit, I have ideas for stories that sound something like this: This happened and then this happened and then this happened. (Yawn). The end. To add meaning requires thought and time. I often struggle with adding meaning, but with the above-mentioned causality lesson, I have a new focus for future work: Have I made the point clear?

On Digression:

“What we first felt as a waste or indirectness (the digression) turns out to be exactly what elevates the story…and makes it so complex and mysterious.”
Saunders 336

I’m curious if these quotes make sense without the in-depth examples. Sometimes I write these pieces to help me remember. Saunders was talking about details that first seem meaningless until they recur. If this sort-of book sounds interesting to you, I give my whole-hearted recommendation.

On Chekhov:

“In a world of people who seem to know everything, passionately, based on little (often slanted) information, where certainty is often mistaken for power, what a relief it is to be in the company of someone confident enough to stay unsure”
Saunders 338

This one refers to Chekhov not passing judgement onto his characters, leaving their behavior ambiguous enough to let the reader draw conclusions. What a wonderful insight to explore the next time I pick up Chekhov!

On Revision:

“The difference between a great writer and a good one (or a good one and a bad one) is the quality of the instantaneous decisions she makes as she works. A line pops into her head. She deletes a phrase. She cuts this section. She inverts the order of two words that have been sitting there in her text for months.”

“We can reduce all writing to this: we read a line, have a reaction to it, trust (accept) that reaction, and do something in response, instantaneously, by intuition.

That’s it.

Over and over”
Saunders 345

I started this post a month ago and lost momentum. Many lines have popped up only to be cut later. I’m learning to trust my reactions and not rush progress.

On Omission:

“Omission is sometimes a defect and leads to unclearness. But other times it’s a virtue and leads to ambiguity and an increase in narrative tension”
Saunders 379

At the end of A Swim in the Pond in the Rain, Saunders includes writing and revising exercises, one on omission. Now to exercise…

Just When I Felt

…like writing, I tapped out a sentence or two and noticed my laptop battery at 0% and not holding the charge. My screen faded to black.

My AC adapter doesn’t care to stay plugged into the power port. It keeps slipping out. Is it broken?

Clearly.

That, or it has a mind of its own.

Kody is my tech guru. When he comes home, I’ll have him take a look. Until then, I guess I’ll read a book.

Self-Revelation

“They sat there in the fresh young darkness close together. Pheoby eager to feel and do through Janie, but hating to show her zest for fear it might be thought mere curiosity. Janie full of that oldest human longing—self revelation” (Their Eyes Were Watching God, page 7).

“There is no book more important to me than this one.” —Alice Walker

I can’t stop thinking about Zora Neale Hurston’s words. Self-revelation. The oldest human longing. At the beginning of the novel, Janie returns home after a year-and-a-half absence. Pheoby wants to live vicariously through her friend, but she doesn’t want to come across as nosy. Janie wants nothing more than to tell her story. The rest of the novel is that story.

And that’s friendship—telling our stories, sharing our burdens, gaining self-awareness and insight through processing. But what about blogging? I suppose self-revelation, regardless of form, comes from a longing to connect.

I wrestle with what to share on the blog…with oversharing…crossing boundaries…telling stories that might not be mine to tell. I’m sure I could pick up the phone and share more with my friends and family. Then there’s the part about being an introvert and exhausted at the end of my days and weeks and recharging my energy through my quiet time. And there’s the part about not knowing what to say until the words appear on the page. I often find answers inside my heart all along.

As I re-read Their Eyes Were Watching God, I’m contemplating more this time through Janie’s journey and self-discovery.

Self-discovery through self-revelation.

Wisdom through self-understanding.

Thinking Good Thoughts

Last week started with a recurring thought from Maya Angelou’s mother. She was always…

I want to be like that. Unfazed by whatever happens.

Another thought came from the Book of Proverbs…

I want to be like that. Strong and Dignified. Fearless and Joyful.

Meanwhile, I’ll name it and claim it.

When Saturday rolled around, I mindlessly scrolled Facebook when a book caught my eye:

The post said, “Found this book in our move. Everyone could use a little more positive in their life! Ready to apply this with my family, friends, and students! If you’ve read this, what was your biggest take away?”

I read the book about five years ago and remembered the part about energy vampires. I pulled the book from my shelf and flipped to that chapter. These words jumped off the page: “If you want to be successful you have to be very careful about who is on your bus. After all there are people who increase your energy and there are people who drain your energy…Your job is to do your best to eliminate any negativity on your bus and this includes negative people.” Noted.

Charles Dickens once wrote: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” What a paradox! Our times can be both the best and the worst. Let’s choose our focus.

Alexandre Dumas once wrote: “Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes.” The storms of life happen—bad weather, catastrophes, flat tires, politics, rude people, illness, death—and when storms happen, I protect my energy.

I seek out good. I redirect my thoughts. I choose faith and gratitude, peace and hope.

There’s energetic power in the thoughts we carry. And energy, good or bad, travels. It transfers into our cells and to our loved ones. I don’t know about you, but my molecular make-up, my loved ones, too, could use some good energy. So, today I’m thinking good thoughts—for you and me—strong, dignified, fearless, joyful thoughts. Pass it on.

I Am Fearless and Therefore Powerful

I love a good affirmation.

I was home on the couch on a Saturday. While watching Anne with an “E,” I tapped affirmation after affirmation into my phone. The whole series radiates girl power, especially Season 3, Episode 5, “I Am Fearless and Therefore Powerful.”

In this episode, the kids practice for the upcoming barn dance at school. It reminded me of the time in fifth grade when we learned to square dance for a hoe down in the gym with parents invited. I was mortified about touching the boys’ hands and refused to dance. Then, my music teacher sent me to the principal’s office for invoking my right to choose. But wait, I had no rights. Click here for that story. In the same way, while dancing with boys as part of school, the girls in Anne with an “E” are plagued with fears about becoming pregnant via touching the boys. During a secret, moonlit bonfire ceremony, Anne and her friends meet and invoke the Goddess of Beltane (representative of fertility), Sacred Mother, Queen of May, Wild Lady of the Woods, and Guardian of Love and Life. Wearing white nightgowns and floral wreaths atop their heads, the girls dance around the fire, proclaim their affirmations, and release their fears:

“We shall choose whom to love and with whom to share trust.”

“We shall walk upon this earth with grace and respect.”

“We’ll always take pride in our great intellect.”

“We’ll honor our emotions so our spirits may soar!”

“And should any man belittle us, we’ll show him the door!”

“Our spirits are unbreakable, our imaginations free!”

“Walk with us, Goddess, so blessed are we!”

The Netflix series is based on the Anne of Green Gables book series, set on Prince Edward Island in Canada, 1899. I haven’t read the books, but now I’m curious. Did L. M. Montgomery write with this feminist spin? Or is this a modern retelling? Either way, I love how Anne appreciates the little things and lives in the moment. Of course, she is human and feisty and has her bad days. Don’t we all?

More great quotes from the show:

“Grace is perennial like the green, green grass.”

“No one but you is allowed to dictate what you’re worth.”