Category: Growth

You are a Bada**

Last Thursday after my first period class, a kid I’ll call J stayed behind and handed me a new yellow paperback.

He hesitated and said, “I’m sorry that I missed your tutorial yesterday. I know you’re here to help us and that people take advantage of you….”

Oof! Gut punch. Kids say the darnedest things.

The day before I had hosted a lunchtime tutorial, pizza provided by the school, for students who haven’t taken the SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) and need to pass another government-mandated standardized test (TSI—the Texas Success Initiative) created by College Board (the entity that makes beaucoups of cash by selling both tests plus Advanced Placement). These kids have taken the test before and failed and must retest. The test deems the students college-ready, and if our school has a certain percentage of students who don’t pass this test, then we look bad. We lose some prestige. Therefore, the intervening tutorial. We discussed grammar and multiple-choice test-taking tips. Some of the kids were one question away from passing on their last attempt. Meanwhile, J, who had a lead in our all-school musical Mamma Mia last semester was giving me a book about how to stop doubting my greatness and start living an awesome life. Somehow, I know he is college ready, and I don’t need test results to tell me. If he doesn’t go to college, who the F cares? J is already living an awesome life and sharing his secret with me.

“…but I think you’re amazing,” he said, “and I hope you’ll read this book.”

I may or may not have had tears in my eyes when I gave him a speechless fist bump. I was touched by the gift. “I will absolutely read this book,” I said. Students filed through the door for my next class, J left, and I composed myself.

Yesterday, I left work at lunch. This morning, I stayed home. The struggle is real. I was supposed to tutor during my lunch again today—and I just can’t. The test is March 22. There is time to postpone. I picked up the book from J and read. Chapter 4 resonated.

“In the self-help/spiritual community, ‘Ego’ is used to refer to the shadow self, or the false self, or the self that’s acting like a weenie. It’s the part of us that’s driving the bus when we do things like sabotage our happiness by cheating on our husbands or wives because deep down we don’t feel worthy of being loved, or that refuses to follow our hearts and pursue an acting career because we are terrified to be seen for who we really are, or that goes on and on and on and on about how great we are and shows off our muscles because we’re insecure and need lots of outside validation that we’re good enough.”

Jen Sincero

Ego—the self that’s acting like a weenie. That’s funny. How many of us are driven by our insecurities and the need for validation that we’re good enough…smart enough…sexy enough…rich enough…skinny enough…badass enough…just simply enough? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

“The leading cause of sucking (staying broke, dating morons, uncontrollably crying in public because we hate our lives) is that we haven’t yet woken up to how truly powerful we are or to how massively abundant our Universe is.”

Jen Sincero

Speaking of the Universe, I’ve heard the part about its massive abundance before. Seeing these words again seems like a message tailored for me.

“The [ego] operates according to your limiting false beliefs. This is the garbage that was stuffed into your subconscious as a kid that doesn’t ring true for you, as well as the decisions you’ve made about yourself that are less-than flattering or empowering. It gets validation from outside sources (I’m doing this to win your love, your opinion of me is more important than my opinion of me), it’s reactive (My circumstances control my life, I am a victim), fear-based, and extremely committed to keeping you safely confined within the reality you’ve created based on those false limiting beliefs (otherwise known as your comfort zone). The [ego] lives in the past and in the future and believes you are separate from everything around you.

Your true self or your higher self or your superhero self (your non-BS self)…is the part of you that operates according to your connection to Source Energy. It gets validation from within (I love and trust myself, this feels right to me, I have a purpose, I am loved), it’s proactive (I’m in control of my life, I think I’ll head on out and kick me some ass), love based, and is committed to creating a reality based on your limitless potential…Your true self lives in the present (not stuck in your head), totally believes in miracles and is one with the Universe.

Jen Sincero

The false self (based on your subconscious and limiting false beliefs) vs. the true self (connected to a higher power AKA Source Energy). The true self validates from within, takes action, seeks limitless potential, stays out of head, believes in miracles, and loves their fellow human. Suddenly, I find myself thinking of 1 Corinthians 4-8. What a lovely truth!

My All-Time Top 10 Blogs

Bloggers will tell you they don’t care about the numbers. Perhaps this is true for some. I, for one, like to see how my posts and years fare against each other. I’m always rooting for the underdog.

What I’ve Learned Through 5 Years of Writing Blogs

  • My most popular posts are more vulnerable.
  • The more I post, the more views appear.
  • As for categories and tags, use them. I can’t explain it, but more people will find your blog.
  • WordPress Bloggers are the best! Thanks for taking time to read today!
  • The blue links below are clickable.

10. Butterfly, Butterfly (2020)

A love note from my second-grade self to my mother.

  • Blogging Categories: Alzheimer’s, Family, Love
  • Tags: None

9. My Beautiful Miracle Baby (2022)

Just one of the reasons I believe in miracles.

  • Categories: faith, family, miracles
  • Tags: None

8. Tale of the Unwanted Letter Jacket (2020)

The time my letter jacket met its demise.

  • Categories: introverts, writing
  • Tags: None

7. Rejection Is God’s Protection (2018)

The time I crashed and burned at an interview and didn’t get the job I thought I wanted.

  • Categories: Faith, God, gratitude, peace, hope, strength
  • Tags: #teaching, #learningneverstops, feeling good, Life Lessons, my grandmother’s pearls, Nina Simone, rejection

6. I Am Fearless and Therefore Powerful (2022)

A 2022 newcomer to the all-time top ten list and a little lesson from Anne of Green Gables.

  • Categories: Books, Gratitude, Inspiration, Literature
  • Tags: Anne of Green Gables, Anne with an “E,” coming of age

5. I’ll Be Okay (2022) and When God Speaks (2022)

Two 2022 posts took a flying leap into the top ten and tied for #5. “I’ll Be Okay” details my recent breast cancer diagnosis.

  • Categories: Faith, Gratitude, Health, Hope, Peace
  • Tags: Breast Cancer

“When God Speaks” contains a confession.

  • Categories: Believe, Breast Cancer, God, Peace, Prayer, Progress, Walking
  • Tags: Mom, Philippians 4:6-7

4. Five Years Before I Said, I Do (2017)

The prequel to my marriage.

  • Categories: Faith, God, Gratitude, Hope, Inspiration, Love, Peace
  • Tags: None

3. That Time When I Met Harvey (2017)

The time when a hurricane flooded our home and the piece that compelled me to start a blog.

  • Categories: Faith, Gratitude, Hope, Inspiration, Peace
  • Tags: None

2. Writing Better (2022)

The top post of last year was just 16 views short of usurping the all-time #1 spot, and I don’t know why. A short piece about the steps to writing better: reading, writing, and revising.

  • Categories: Blogging, memoir, writing
  • Tags: None

1. Making Macbeth Memorable (2019)

The first time I taught Macbeth I posted this on a Facebook English teacher page where it continues to bring viewers.

  • Categories: High School English, Learning, Life Lessons, school
  • Tags: Shakespeare

Happy Blogging in 2023 everybody!

The Blog Is Five!

I held my chihuahua in my left arm, my phone in my right hand, and snapped photos from the back of a flat-bed city dump truck. Moments later we rolled away from home with sixteen people and seven dogs. This happened five years ago on August 27th. Sometime in the next couple of weeks, I wrote about the hurricane and the flood, the rescue and shelter. I planned to have students write about their experiences and share mine.

I had considered blogging before. I think WordPress popped up in my Facebook feed. I investigated. Suddenly I had an account, and I posted That Time When I Met Harvey.

That Time When I Met Harvey

I’m not sure I foresaw five years of blogging, but here I am. And here you are. My posts wouldn’t mean as much without readers, and I’m thankful for you.

A Top 10 Blog about Blogs

I’m no SEO expert. When I started blogging back in 2017, I didn’t know a thing about search engine optimization. Since then, I’ve learned to check off search categories and tag key words before posting, and my blog has grown. Humble bloggers tend to say they don’t care about the numbers. Call me Not Humble. I can’t help noticing. And now for the January 2nd moment I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for…

Photo by gdtography on Pexels.com

Crystal Byers Top 10 Blogs of All Time

10. Purging and Mental Health (2021)

The time I admitted to the hoarding problem in my home and took a 30 day purging challenge.

  • Blogging Categories: Hope, Mental Health, Purge
  • Tags: 30 Day Challenge, Less Is More

9. I Have a Secret (on Anti-Aging) (2019)

The time I met up with my second-grade friend and came home a younger person.

  • Blogging Categories: Friendship, Happiness, Health
  • Tags: anti-aging, collagen peptides, collagen protein, dental health, hair health, joint pain, liver detoxification, nail health, Plexus, skin health, Starla, weight loss

8. Butterfly, Butterfly (2020)

A love note from my second-grade self to my mother.

  • Blogging Categories: Alzheimer’s, Family, Love
  • Tags: None

7. Actinomycosis (2020)

The time a severe sore throat traveled into my jawbone.

  • Blogging Categories: Prayer
  • Tags: “The Death of a Clerk,” Anton Chekhov

6. Thirty Years in the Blink of an Eye (2019)

Some birthday love for the guy who made me a mother.

  • Blogging Categories: Family, Happiness, Love, Strength
  • Tags: Love Shack, B-52s

5. Rejection Is God’s Protection (2018)

The time I didn’t get the job I thought I wanted.

  • Blogging Categories:

4. Tale of the Unwanted Letter Jacket (2020)

The time my letter jacket met its demise.

  • Blogging Categories: introverts, writing
  • Tags: None

3. Five Years Before I Said, I Do (2017)

The prequel to my marriage.

  • Blogging Categories: Faith, God, Gratitude, Hope, Inspiration, Love, Peace
  • Tags: None

2. That Time When I Met Harvey (2017)

The time when a hurricane flooded our home and the piece that compelled me to start a blog.

  • Blogging Categories: Faith, Gratitude, Hope, Inspiration, Peace
  • Tags: None

1. Making Macbeth Memorable (2019)

The first time I taught Macbeth. I admit to posting this one on a Facebook English teacher page where it continues to bring viewers.

  • Blogging Categories: High School English, Learning, Life Lessons, school
  • Tags: Shakespeare

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re still with me, Thank You!! I had a recent conversation with a fellow blogger (Hey Rhonda!) about the Me, Me, Me obnoxiousness of blogging. She admitted to having a “full-blown complex about coming across as self-centered, self-involved and driven solely by self-interest,” and I totally relate. I have no answers, but I’ve come to feel unsettled if I’m not writing a little here and there. Not that I must post it, or must I?

I published my first ever blog post on September 12, 2017, and tapped out 13 posts total that year. 30 posts in 2018. 35 in 2019. From 2017 to 2018, my views doubled. Those stats align with how my number of posts doubled. From 2018 to 2019, my views tripled, and I only wrote a few extra posts. Maybe I started using more tags and categories that year?? From 2019 to 2020, views doubled again. My blog hit a growth spurt when I wrote 26 posts in April for my first A-Z challenge. Then again, I wrote 89 posts that year. In 2021, I wrote 74. The views on my blog plateaued. Still my followers grew. If you’re still reading this post, THANK YOU!!

Bloggers come and go. Many of those first followers no longer log in to their WordPress accounts. Some followers follow as a strategy for growing their readership. Looking back on the years of more prolific blogging, I realize I wasn’t working during that time. Instead, I was home for most of the pandemic, which gave me some extra time and freedom to blog.

What does this mean for my 2022 blog? I honestly have no clue. After a two-week vacation, I go back to teaching the children tomorrow, and they are my priority. With the new job, I have a spring semester of curriculum to flesh out still. I perpetually reflect upon what is and isn’t working and consider what to change for next year. The adjustments are major, a post for another time.

My reflection spills over and onto the blog. I think about what’s working and what is not. Not that I have the answers. I suppose, I’ll continue to take each year as a new year and each day as a new day and reserve the right to change my mind about everything. And, I suppose, if I have one goal or one word for myself this year, I’m leaning toward GRACE. GRACE when I want to beat myself up. GRACE when I want to beat someone else up. 😊 And if you’re still with me, you probably wondered where all of this was going. Trust me, I did, too. Thanks again for hanging with me ’til the end. (Or is this the beginning?)

Anything Is Possible

In a lovely little chapel on the campus of Houston Baptist, I received kind words, a pen, and a pin. This was the last Friday night in May. I had taken the classes, put in the work, and completed requirements for my MFA.

Now, I hear Frank McCourt in my head, and he says, “Stock your mind. It is your house of treasure and no one in the world can interfere with it.” I notice his two polysyllabic words and the strength of his monosyllables. Now, I will work with my tools, read books, study language, and hone my craft. I will put my bloody manuscript in a drawer and let it rest. Same for me, sans drawer, just rest. I’ve learned that good art takes time.

Even though my angel mother grew up in the Baptist church, the “B” in HBU filled me with trepidation. I leaped with faith anyway. God played a role in my story, and I wanted to do Him justice. Still, I never imagined I would find my tribe of like minds at HBU. Now, I see God’s plan. I’ll be forever grateful for these people—my cohort and professors. They became my friends and family, encouraging and inspiring me with their ideas and insight, persistence and growth, love and prayers. All of this without judgement. Even their criticism was kind.

At HBU, I’ve learned to make time and space for my writing and for me. And I’ve realized we all feel like imposters sometimes. I’ve learned to be scared and do it anyway. And I’ve realized the power of continued progress. Anything is possible with belief and persistence. I’m still learning trust and patience in God. At the same time, I believe He is using my story in a way I never could’ve imagined.

Update.

This April here on the blog, I’ve stuck to an alphabetized theme of action. Allow me to update you.

Updates are good—especially in job situations and within families and with friends. Updates keep your people in the loop and strengthen your connections. This week I phoned my sister, and my bestie called me. We updated each other. Those are my favorite updates.

However, I have a little problem with today’s blog update. If you’ve been reading recently, you know that most of my posts for the last twenty-three days or so have been updates of sorts. I’m starting to bore myself with the topic of me. If you’ve been reading, and you’re back again today, God Bless You! You could be doing anything right now, and I’m not loving this post. Hopefully, some of the others have been better. If you’ve missed any, I’ve linked them in the update below.

Starting on April 1st, I chose to abstain from alcohol. Today is my twenty-fourth day. This action freed me to accomplish more in a month than I have probably ever. Weirdly, I haven’t missed my nightly drinking much. I can’t say I’m quitting forever, but I am totally rethinking my relationship with my booze habit. Oh, the extra calories!

This month I’ve taken three ballet classes and turned a few cartwheels. I’ve continued reading my devotional book almost every day, or at least I catch up when I fall behind. Hopefully along the way, I’ve encouraged someone somehow. One of my reader-friends said my post on forgiveness was her favorite.

While thinking about actions from A-Z this month, I’ve noticed myself Googling throughout most of my days. One day I read about the benefits of headstands, so I’ve been practicing. I held one for about thirty seconds the other night. This challenge has taught me to innovate. One day I wrote about not jogging, but since that post, I pushed myself to try it again. Mostly I’ve been trying to Keep It Stupid Simple and listen to God and good advice and people who matter and the birds in the trees.

Along the way, I put some thought into some memorization, some nominations, and observations. I photographed some murals, quested forward with personal goals, and read a few memoirs.

I’m not sure what makes me more proud this month, completing 1245 situps and pushups and 1320 squats or revising 215 pages of my memoir for my thesis due date on Monday (I still have 30 pages and a final inspection to go) or the 3 interviews I had this week (that’s a post for another time). One thing I know for certain is that none of it would’ve been possible without believing I could do it and giving it a try.

Try!

When I started this A-Z Challenge, I didn’t have a plan for over half of the alphabet. I just thought I would stick to a theme of action and try. I even thought I might skip a day if necessary. Somehow, I kept showing up and doing it. That’s what try means to me. You show up. You do it. If you fail, you try again. You keep showing up. You do things differently.

When I returned to school for my masters, I didn’t have the money for tuition. I just thought I would figure it out, and I did. I had probably thought about going back to school for ten years before I committed, and now I’m probably most proud of myself for just doing it.

I’ve been thinking about what I’ve absorbed in my life. I grew up with this one—

It’s never too late to absorb the good stuff…and it’s never too late to try…

Memorize?

A couple of weeks ago, I read The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr, and I’m one chapter short of finishing her 1995 bestselling memoir The Liars’ Club now. As the Peck Professor of Literature and Memoir at Syracuse University, she offers expert tips and provides an appendix of must-read memoirs. The list is so worth the purchase for those interested in studying the genre.

In Chapter 19, “Old School Technologies for the Stalled Novice,” Karr encourages intellectual enterprises to keep you studying the craft of writing. Here are some of the tools she uses to learn from mentor texts. Some of these include writing longhand. She says it will slow you down as typing can’t.

  1. Keep a notebook, where you copy beloved poems or hunks of prose. Nothing will teach you of great writers’ choices better. Plus, you can carry your inspiration around in compact form.
  2. Write reviews or criticism for an online blog or a magazine. It will discipline you to find evidence for your opinions and make you a crisper thinker.
  3. Augment a daily journal with a reading journal. Compose a one-page review with quotes. Make yourself back up opinions.
  4. Write out longhand on 3×5” index cards quotes you come across, writer’s name on the left, source and page on the right. Karr has thousands of these from which she cobbles up lectures.
  5. Memorize poems when you’re stuck.
  6. Write longhand letters to your complicated characters or even to the dead. You’ll learn more about voice by writing letters, how you arrange yourself different ways for each audience, than in a year of classes.

Number Five spoke loudest to me. Funny how I can still remember chunks of verse from days gone by. I memorized the “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost in the eighth grade for my English class. Anytime I take another look at that poem, the words come flooding back. When I taught sophomores, I memorized Mark Antony’s “Friends, Romans, Countrymen” funeral oration from Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of Julius Caesar. And when I taught juniors, I memorized Macbeth’s “Out, out, brief candle” soliloquy. Because the students had been tasked to memorize, I wanted to prove I could do it. I loved to show them a three-year-old’s ability to memorize, too. Here’s a toddler’s version of “Litany” by Billy Collins.

Here’s one I’m working on, at Mary Karr’s suggestion and just because I love it:

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
by e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)