In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict

Books, memoir, Perseverance 1 Minute

Petulia was a five-pound baby born to a mother with schizophrenia. (My son has paranoid schizophrenia, and I can only imagine the effect of the illness on an unborn child.) Petulia’s mother abandoned her in an empty Chicago apartment at five months old, where she remained hungry and soiled, crying and alone, for an estimated five to seven days. When the janitor found Petulia, she weighed seven pounds, not only malnourished but also denied of oxytocin, emotional bonding, and maternal attachment. Police officers scooped her up and left her in an unfamiliar foster home with other abandoned children, later to be adopted as Katherin Elizabeth.

Dr. KE Garland reveals her own story of trauma compounded by more trauma. Her early abandonment led to internalized rejection, boundary issues, and codependency. In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict depicts the secrecy of a double life and one woman’s journey to understand and heal herself and her relationships. Garland’s memoir is well-researched, compelling, and eye-opening. As a person, she is scientifically self-aware and unflinchingly brave. Don’t we all have some healing to do?

Published by Crystal Byers

When I was young, my dad would always say, "Crystal, you can choose your attitude." One day I chose to believe him.

Published

62 thoughts on “In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict”

    1. Thanks, Vera! It’s the second book I’ve read recently that connects the dots between trauma and addiction. I came away from it with compassion for Kathy and especially for those who are stuck in a spiral without understanding the underlying causes.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. A poignant and powerful review Crystal of one of my favorite authors. Kathy writes with honesty and courage often leading us towards healing when we didn’t even know we were struggling. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I know myself pretty well, Cheryl, but Kathy clearly put in the work to understand herself on a psychological level. Years and years of work.

      Thank you for stopping by to read and leave me a hug, my friend. That always brings me a smile. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It seems every person has at least one cross to bear. I think healing can only happen when we write things down or talk about it, to help us understand. Sounds like a good book Crystal. Hope all is well with you. Allan

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Crystal, I know we’ve talked about this before, but I’m so grateful for your writing and sharing this review on your blog. I’m also pleased that what I wrote is comprehensible. It was really important for me to provide a super clear narrative that showed how unresolved trauma can create addiction in all of us. I didn’t want the reader to have any doubt that (sex) addiction can come from these childhood spaces.

    Also, thank you for sharing about your son. I don’t think I knew this.

    Thanks again ❤ I'll be re-blogging tomorrow.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You did it, Kathy. I heard your message loud and clear and wish you much success in changing lives. When I posted to Audible, it came out as anonymous. I couldn’t figure out how to fix that. Thank YOU for the re-blog.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Kathy’s determination and her heart’s strength inspires. Much more so when imagining the unimaginable hurdles she’s cleared. The quicksands whose dissolving grasps she’s broken.

    The more “mundane” obstacles she continues to overcome even now. In this case, as we all try to. And to think, she’s here among us, in this very conversation.

    Nearly as impressive is something which, perhaps, has been unmentioned here. Namely, Kathy’s singular strength in rising above millennia’s patterns. Likely, Kathy’s mother herself had an awful childhood. And so on, distressingly, beyond antiquity. Yet Kathy created bright promise, not just for herself, but even more so for those yet to be.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Keith! Perspective appreciated!! And the thing about addiction is it always has a hold on you…but you find other ways to self regulate. Writing, talking, the beach, yoga. She writes about all of that, which I found quite relatable.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Blessed with imagination, there are ways a-plenty we invent to distract ourselves. With success, those distractions become the narrative, and we lose track of why we needed redirection in the first place.

        Now, what were we talking about again?

        Liked by 2 people

  10. This is a great review! I am waiting for my copy to arrive, and I cannot be more excited for Kathy! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on what I know is an amazing creation!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It came yesterday! Lol. Finally! I’ll be reading it next. I can’t read multiple books at once. I’ll start getting things mixed up in my head. Lol.

        Liked by 2 people

  11. I seldom find the time to read a book, but I made time for this one because I have admired Katherin’s blog for a very long time. Her book was both heart shattering and healing – Her honesty was remarkable and gave me a lot of understanding around a subject I was not familiar with. I am certain many people have been helped by her willingness to share a taboo topic.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing, Judy! I agree completely—she gave me “a lot of understanding around a subject I was not familiar with.” Now I can’t stop thinking about how drug addiction is often criminalized when so many clearly need help.

      Liked by 2 people

  20. Pingback: Post 302. Celebrating Self. – Faith + Gratitude = Peace + Hope

Comments are closed.