Be Kind to Yourself

Balance, Believe, Faith, Growth, Healing, Health, Inspiration, Mental Health, Peace 3 Minutes

I’m no expert.

I’m practicing.

Practice makes progress.

One step at a time.

My resume says that in the summer of 2009, I attended the Plano ISD Team Leader Academy. My memory from fifteen years ago is fuzzy. But—I do remember someone saying, “Take care of yourself. Body, mind, and spirit. You can’t take care of your students or your family unless you take care of yourself first.” On an overhead projector, there may or may not have been some sort of Venn Diagram with three overlapping circles. Perhaps the circles were separately labeled BODY and MIND and SPIRIT. The overlap in the center possibly said, WELLNESS. Regardless of the presentation, I remembered the idea.

As the years passed, sometimes my body was the strongest. I went to yoga for years and the gym for a spell. There was that boxing and kickboxing phase. Walking has always been my thing. But sometimes it’s too hot outside. Other times my spiritual side has prevailed. I’ve said my prayers, believed in miracles, attended church, practiced gratitude, experienced peace in the great outdoors.

It seems my mind often betrayed my body and spirit instead of working in sync. While teaching, even with the good advice, my wellness fell by the wayside. There were always papers to grade, lessons to plan, literature to read, tests to create, the next calendar to map out, parents to call—things that don’t happen inside of the classroom. There were the times I beat myself up for not being “good” enough—not a good enough teacher, mother, wife, lover, daughter, sister, friend, housekeeper, cook. How many times did I share a weakness with someone close to me to hear them say, “Crystal, be KIND to yourself”? Honestly, I didn’t know what that meant.

Part of me feels guilty telling others about my self-care BECAUSE I’m not working. Did you see that? Self-condemnation is so sneaky. Here’s the point: I know how hard it is to take CARE of SELF while doing the things of life. Nutrition might not be the priority, and so we drive-thru for fast food. After a long day, I loved nothing more than a glass of wine, which always meant three, at least for me. Maybe four. The following day, a potential hangover vs. WELLNESS.

Beginning last summer, I’ve prioritized my health. I didn’t start with a plan, and it didn’t happen all at once. I don’t pretend to be perfect, but I have nurtured my body, mind, and spirit. One step led to the next. Suddenly I noticed changes:  

  1. Spirit: Ray Bradbury advised me to read the Bible, and I did.
  2. Mind: I looked at myself in the mirror and tried an affirmation. This led to more affirmations along with meditation. Search YouTube for more.
  3. Mind: I learned a secret about the power of connection.
  4. Mind: Self-celebration is not only okay. It’s sometimes necessary.
  5. Body, Mind, Spirit: I started a dance class for the first time in 34 years.
  6. Spirit: Many of us have Christmas wrong. It’s about hope, peace, joy, and love, not stress.
  7. Body: I started 2024 with Dry January which led to Alcohol Free February. Since then, I’ve had drinks and re-started. I’m up to 126 sober days and counting.
  8. Body: I upped my fruits and vegetables and cut my sugar.
  9. Spirit: I downloaded the Bible app for the Verse of the Day. On the same app I started a plan to read the Bible in a year, 20 minutes a day for the reading and commentary.
  10. Body, Mind, Spirit: The following books taught me a thing or two about self-care:

This year I’m believing in—the power of intention, do-overs, progress over perfection, kindness and compassion for self and others, one day at a time, and asking God for help. And you know what? My experience keeps me believing.

Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com
Daily writing prompt
How do you practice self-care?
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Published by Crystal Byers

When I was young, my dad would always say, "Crystal, you can choose your attitude." One day I chose to believe him.

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80 thoughts on “Be Kind to Yourself”

  2. I’m an introvert, so self-care for me is staying to myself for a day after a lot of socializing. I get a happiness hangover after spending time with people I love. Like this weekend – two days with friends and family and laughter and good conversation and food. So today, I will reflect, rest, eat healthily, exercise and hydrate to my heart’s content. And write my thank you notes to process and move through my missing them. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to work – my writing space – recharged spiritually and physically.

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  3. Hey, Crystal…I love your suggestions and feel the nurturing thread throughout. So good. The one thing I’ve learned…essential for me… is the simple act of slowing down. It’s almost a ‘step one’ for many of my self-care efforts. If I don’t slow down and spend a mindful moment or two prioritizing, I find a way to wheedle out of doing what’s best for me in order to “be productive” in some other way. 🥰

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  4. What a wonderfully comprehensive post. I’m inspired to do better and will be clicking on your resources over the course of the week. I often feel like July 1 is as significant as January 1 in the sense of checking in with myself to see how I’m doing. Thanks for this timely post.

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    1. Bring it, July 1! I often feel that way about the first of the month and the new moon, too. Another thing that helps is my intention for the week. Once recently I started a goal for 10K steps a day—for one week, which proved I could do it. I ended up just short of 70K. Not that I’ve kept it up, but that I’m walking more—that’s progress.

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  6. I needed to read this today, Crystal. Thank you for writing it.

    I suck at all of this, or at least I always feel that I do, but who cares. In a few more years none of this will matter to me anymore. What will matter is the good I did for others, including myself. Never 100%, but if they say about me that “he kept trying,” that’s gonna have to do.

    Here’s the last thing that I’ve written, and if it turns out to be the last thing that I ever write again, I think I’ll be OK with that too. Let Your Will Be Done – Majik’s Substack

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    1. The funny thing is—I thought I was fairly healthy until the cancer. Even then, I didn’t take my health too seriously. I needed some coaching, and it took a few wake-up calls. My biggest turnaround is the work inside my head—a lot of letting go, catching dark thoughts, and asking God for help. Thanks for the visit, Majik. I’ll check out your post.

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  7. Thank you for this really important post, Crystal. We can’t be there for others if we don’t learn how to take care of ourselves first. It’s often a challenging balancing act, but critical to our health and wellbeing. Stick to your self-care path, you deserve it (and need it)!

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    1. Thank you so much, Jane. I’m trying—for real trying. Still I hit humps and slumps and then try some more. I have bloodwork scheduled for later this week, and I’m excited to look at comparisons. Either way will keep me motivated.

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  8. I loved how your shared books that you liked. I too read the bible in one year – I found a one-year bible that did the dividing for me (no apps in those days ♥).

    Self care and awareness are very important. I was reminded by someone recently to take one step at a time – set a goal of 1 % percent a day to do better – ten minutes walking is better than none!

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    1. Hi David! Life before apps. I’m not sure I saw myself reading the entire Bible before now. I’m excited to see what this year holds.

      I’ve heard of the 1% improvement a day. That sounds like a lot of math, but I love the idea. Ten minutes of walking is definitely better than none. When the sun sets this evening, I’ll give it a try.

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      1. It was a cool One Year bible – divided up into 365 days beginning January 1 and each day was divided up into old testament, psalms, proverbs and new testament. (bite size chunks).
        I usually glossed over the OT but always took time for proverbs and NT. Having it divided up like that really helped and I was successful reading every day about 75% of the time.

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  11. Whew! I could have written this post, Crystal. The treadmill of life as a teacher is hard to describe to someone not in the profession. It seems ridiculous not to realize the importance of making ourselves a priority, but so many of us fail in deference to our students. That combined with trying to be a good husband, father, friend, etc., and there wasn’t much time to look after myself. I finally retired seven years ago to do that, though the decision was mostly determined for me by my health. My life is in balance, and I’ve got my priorities straight. Never giving that up ever again. Now with our first grandchild as of five weeks ago, we’re riding that wave.

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    1. Hey there, Pete! I’m happy this post came off as relatable. Priorities and children/grandchildren are probably the biggest secrets of life. Again, it comes back to our connections. Enjoy the wave!

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  12. Thank you, great post and a timely reminder – there’s so much we can and must do to nurture ourselves as we ride the waves that of life! ❤️

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    1. Olive, I’m happy this message resonates. I needed a coach pushing me in this direction before now. Better late than never, I suppose. Hopefully something here helps you!

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  17. What a beautiful post on what self-care actually looks like – the ups and downs and the things you’ve found that work. Love your wonderful ability to share the fruits of your labor. Thanks, Crystal!

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  19. Self care is always important, working or not. I am in better shape in retirement than I ever was while working. The job and family always came first and I came last. Like being on an airplane, put your own mask on first and then help another. All the best Crystal. Allan

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  20. Love this, Crystal. Aside from nutrition (until recently), I always did self-care but was guilt-ridden for doing so. I’m working on that guilt and have been working on my diet (nutrition) as well. Sugar has been my way of stuffing the guilt by the endorphins it brought on. If we don’t give ourselves compassion, how can we truly know how to give compassion to others? Thank you for sharing those book titles. I have The Four Agreements, but I’m going to look into the others you mentioned. This “highly-sensitive,” “ultra-sensitive” (like in my post), and “empathic” stuff I’m looking to learn how to use for the positive. I’m a fan of Paul Ferrini books. He’s a bit of an obscure mystic, but my fave of his is “Reflections of the Christ Mind.”

    OH – and have you heard of the Daily Word booklet? They have daily affirmations that I read every morning to start my day. I get it in the snail mail, but you can also read them online
    https://www.unity.org/daily-word/mag/daily-word-mayjune-2024.

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    1. The Emotion Code and The Untethered Soul both helped me in recognizing negative emotions and thought patterns (like the one that are guilt or anger centered) and taught me the importance of LETTING IT GO. The 5 Second Rule is about taking action. It seems a person can’t take all the advice but must find a balance. Adding Paul Ferrini to my list. Thanks for the recommendations, Lori!

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      1. Crystal, on another note, I went through some difficult things when I was younger. I got help and thought I’d gotten myself all figured out. I thought I was a well-adjusted, self-aware adult now who no longer needed to address any issues. Recently, I’ve been going through some things again and have learned that it’s an ongoing process. Issues within will pop up time and again. I’ll always need to remind myself to implement the things you (and I) are learning from these books. 💗

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  21. It’s hard to be kind to ourselves. I’m right there with you. I have very high standards for myself as my husband reminds me, so that doesn’t help. Thanks for the great list of reminders on how to be kind to ourselves. 💕

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  22. Hi, Crystal! Yep, look up and look around every so often.

    Our progress and our successes zip above us when we’re hunched, studying the moment just ahead. Without this broader view, life breaks down to a series of failures and “I should’ve known I couldn’t….”

    Instead, as you crest the next hill, take in the landscape. Appreciate your efforts’ trajectories and all the good they’ve brought, even when they don’t result in perfection. Although, you know, sometimes they do.

    Here’s where friends and family – interactions – are crucial. Each of us, without exception, needs others to spot the sparkle just ahead, or the glorious dawn about to erupt over the horizon. No matter whether we’re extroverts or introverts, optimists or pessimists, we all need someone else to motion to us, “Hey, come here. Look at this!”

    Think about it, Crystal. How often have you beckoned someone?

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    1. I love people like that—the ones who point me on to the sparkle! How often have you done that for me? Thank you, Keith! I have a song on my “Happy” playlist that reminds me to “Look Up.” Such great advice!

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      1. You’ve glistened lives numerous times daily for decades now, Crystal. For your whole life, really.

        Family, friends, teachers, classmates, students, all of us here for sure. We all have needed a cheerleader at times. Good thing you made the squad some time ago.

        For you, always a teacher, always a cheerleader. Turns out some things are more than just present vocations, but lifetime passions.

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    1. Hi AOC! Thanks so much! Ironically, today is not a good day. I’m pulling out my tools, listening to some binaural beats for stress. I might take a nap—in the name of self-care.

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  25. C, my sister, this post touched my heart and soul! What an amazing and inspiring gift of writing.
    My head, heart, and soul nodded throughout all of it.
    Like you, I was plagued by “Am I good enough?” (Mom, wife, teacher,…etc…). To the detriment of my health, I put others first. God has always been my priority! Yet, apparently, I thought I didn’t need his help some years 🥹.
    I’m so proud of you! I said a hearty, “Amen!” Or “Yes!” And an “Atta’ Girl!” on each “self-care” goal you’re doing (or have crushed anyway!).
    I believe from experience, too. Through it all, God has seen me through. But he did expect the work on my behalf.
    You’re such an inspiration to me~to all of us!
    It doesn’t surprise me that we have many in common, dear sister.
    My kids and little grands left, the “Scanxiety”, treatment, parties~as more of an introvert, it’s taken time to recharge. And I haven’t been in nature due to treatment and heat~ nature always heals me. But I have the Word, meditation, quiet space for a day, and walking at a nearby community center that will help.
    I’m so happy you’re being kind to yourself~💕
    Thank you for being a light~your wisdom, experiences, and knowledge give us all encouragement and also, practical guidance and advice!
    I love you, C! I’m wrapping you in prayers and blessings 🤍🤍🙏🏻

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    1. Sweet sister, your kind encouragement touched me right back. And your prayers! Thank you! My heart feels blessed by our friendship. What you said the other day about surrender reminds me of this post. It’s a daily, sometimes hourly practice to let those certain emotions go so the head doesn’t win over spirit. I’m happy for your recent family time, and I pray for your recharge and all the moving parts. I love you, K! I see you through your words and that brings me joy. ❤️🙏🏼❤️

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      1. “I see you through your words and that brings me joy.” Oh my heart! I love you, C!!! Yes to all of this–I SEE YOU. Rest, rejuvenate, and let’s dance in there sometime. And sip tea and laugh. 🤍🤗🙏

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      3. Sip sip hooray! YAY!! I have my ZOOM and mentoring today and I’m so excited! 🤍🤍🤗 BTW–the treatments are causing a lot of gastric issues so it’s impacting my coffee drinking–that’s worse than the cancer, sister! Lol

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  27. Exactly so. Balance. Seeing when I’m wobbling around and returning to a balance point. Body, mind, emotions, and spirit, keeping them in balance is a full time job. Great post.

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  28. This is such an honest and uplifting post. It’s a reminder that self-care is a continuous journey and that small steps can lead to significant changes. Your experience with Dry January and the ongoing sobriety is especially motivating. Wishing you continued success!👏👍

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  29. I’m not good at self care or affirmations BUT I’m doing the “Bible in a year” too and started in January. I’m really enjoying doing it with some friends this time. Are you doing the biblerecap.com because her videos are great! Take care ❤️😊💕

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    1. Hi there! Yes, I’m doing The Bible Recap with Tara-Leigh Cobble. She is great, and I love hearing her perspective. Spending time with God is definitely a way to take care of self, so it sounds like you’re better at it than you realize.

      I also like Louise Hay for affirmations. If the link doesn’t come through, you might Google her:

      Sometimes I listen in the morning, sometimes at night, sometimes I go weeks without it, but I like having the tool in my toolbox. 💕

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