On January 2, I wrote, “I suppose, if I have one goal or one word for myself this year, I’m leaning toward GRACE. GRACE when I want to beat myself up. GRACE when I want to beat someone else up.”
The words “I suppose” sound half-hearted.
“I’m leaning…” Not quite there.
Perhaps, I needed a plan. Perhaps, more prayer.
Sure enough, by October, my word of the year had escaped my otherwise-preoccupied mind. I searched the blog and discovered these few lines toward the bottom of my first post of 2022.
“I’m leaning toward GRACE. GRACE when I want to beat myself up. GRACE when I want to beat someone else up.”
And what have I been doing to myself these last few days?
Beating myself up.
On housekeeping, on Christmas shopping, on my inability to move from the couch after work, on my not checking in on friends and family.
Then there are the fantasies of throwing throat punches. On the road, in the grocery store, even at school.
Then the anger melts to tears.
And suddenly, finally, I hear GRACE in the back of my head. In a velvety smooth voice, she says, “Honey Child, what would Jesus do? ‘A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another’ (John 13:34).”
And that’s GRACE—
Feeling the love and paying it forward, understanding we’re human and flawed, extending ourselves GRACE and love and time for honesty and patience for what we cannot control, knowing God will get us through if we just lean in.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and LOVE and GRACE and PEACE to you!