Self-Revelation

Books, High School English, Life Lessons, Literature, Women, words, writing 1 Minute

“They sat there in the fresh young darkness close together. Pheoby eager to feel and do through Janie, but hating to show her zest for fear it might be thought mere curiosity. Janie full of that oldest human longing—self revelation” (Their Eyes Were Watching God, page 7).

“There is no book more important to me than this one.” —Alice Walker

I can’t stop thinking about Zora Neale Hurston’s words. Self-revelation. The oldest human longing. At the beginning of the novel, Janie returns home after a year-and-a-half absence. Pheoby wants to live vicariously through her friend, but she doesn’t want to come across as nosy. Janie wants nothing more than to tell her story. The rest of the novel is that story.

And that’s friendship—telling our stories, sharing our burdens, gaining self-awareness and insight through processing. But what about blogging? I suppose self-revelation, regardless of form, comes from a longing to connect.

I wrestle with what to share on the blog…with oversharing…crossing boundaries…telling stories that might not be mine to tell. I’m sure I could pick up the phone and share more with my friends and family. Then there’s the part about being an introvert and exhausted at the end of my days and weeks and recharging my energy through my quiet time. And there’s the part about not knowing what to say until the words appear on the page. I often find answers inside my heart all along.

As I re-read Their Eyes Were Watching God, I’m contemplating more this time through Janie’s journey and self-discovery.

Self-discovery through self-revelation.

Wisdom through self-understanding.

Published by Crystal Byers

When I was young, my dad would always say, "Crystal, you can choose your attitude." One day I chose to believe him.

Published

84 thoughts on “Self-Revelation”

  1. True. Most of us want to be seen and heard. Yet it’s easy to be over seen and over heard, especially in our social media obsessed culture. I like what Hemingway said, “Writing is easy. You just sit at the typewriter and bleed.” Frankly, I’d rather bleed a little than a lot. But I still long for that connection.

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    1. Sorry, a false start I can’t undo. It is hard to know how much to share and with whom. We all want to be understood. Your writing is great and so natural. I, for one, would like to know more about how you are doing. Lots of people have shared their illnesses on their blogs. And people respond. It can also be exhausting if you are not feeling well.
      That’s a major consideration. You will know what to do. Please know that I am praying 🙏🏽 for you❣️ellen

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  3. Lots of truth here. It can be difficult to find the right balance. Especially in our current culture. At times it is like our whole life is on display. Yet we rarely have a strong connection with so many of our contacts. But I am also thankful for this space and the way it allows us to build friendships, even from miles away.

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  4. Thanks for sharing!!.. just let your fingers do the walking and your heart do the talking… 🙂

    Have a wonderful day every day and until we meet again….
    May your day be touched
    by a bit of Irish luck,
    Brightened by a song
    in your heart,
    And warmed by the smiles
    of people you love.
    (Irish Saying)

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  5. I know what you mean about sharing. I usually go for it, because more often than not, someone says they’ve experienced the same or similar, and I think it’s important to know that our “bad” is not necessarily unique. As to the “someone else’s stories” I figure I’m giving them from my perspective, which makes them my stories, because even though it happens to someone else, it does change my perceptions

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  6. Crystal, how much to reveal of our true self is a decision we writers must all make. When we are able to take that leap, we often discover as you conclude in your post: “Self-discovery through self-revelation. / Wisdom through self-understanding.” Know that I hold you close to my heart during yet another test of your inner strength to defeat the intruder within. Blessings ❤

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  10. I do think of you every day, Crystal, and I’m glad to see you’re carrying on with life in spite of the diagnosis. That’s what I had to learn to do after receiving an out-of-the-blue announcement of a hematoma (mass) on my brain, on top of chronic kidney disease. Goodness gracious alive! What am I supposed to do with all that? Well, with a brand new walker to help with a wobbly balance, I, too, just carry on.

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  11. One more comment: This one about “Their Eye Were Watching God.” Recently I re-read it and felt less overwhelmed than the first time around, probably because I was prepared. Before, it was one of the hardest books I ever encountered, and one of the most beautiful. ‘Nuff said?

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    1. My first time, I sped through in a weekend. I loved the poetic, metaphorical narration, but felt like I missed some nuance. This time I’m reading slower and discussing with students, so it’s a whole new experience. I believe they see the beauty. I hope.

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      1. Yes, that was my first experience with the book, too. Although I don’t consider myself a fast reader, sometimes I am compelled almost to race along with the flow of the narrative, rather like being pulled by a strong rip tide. A later second reading allows me to pick up on nuances I missed the first time.

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  12. We all want to connect with others and share but it is a fine line indeed. Have found that as soon as a bit more is shared some immediately frown that it is too much. I guess each have their own line of how much is too much. I always think that let a person share how much they need to till their heart feels lighter, isn’t that the whole purpose of sharing and so why quantify based on someone else’s measure. But I must say that I am thankful for the blogging space.

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    1. Yes, Manu, if the sharing lightens the heart, that’s perfect. And I love this space for so many of my shares met with supportive kindness. If the sharing causes further burden, then why share? Unfortunately, we often don’t know until it’s too late.

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  15. Crystal, I love this. I nodded my head reading your words. I share similar thoughts. I’m so glad I have family here, like you, that doesn’t care how, when, why, or the reasons I share. We just get it. I’m having a hard time “separating” what I write from just sharing about my cancer now. It’s intertwined; it’s my new journey. And for the most part, I feel everyone understands. This is a safe place. Sending love and hugs my friend. I appreciate you and what you share. 💛💕🙏🏻🥰

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    1. Karla, I’ve thought of you so often in the last couple of months. You’ve specifically been on my mind while writing recent posts. And when I visit your blog, it’s like you and me with a cup of tea. I feel that connection and your love and hugs now. Thank you for your thoughts. 🙏🏻

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  16. I wrestle also with what to share. I spoke to my aunt about it when she visited last week. I don’t talk about my ongoing cancer surgeries online and I had just had my toughest. I told her why, I don’t want attention that way. Part of me though thinks I should because I like transparency. I think people sometimes think everyone else’s life is perfect and they are the only ones that face ongoing hard times because people tend to deny transparency about their own challenges.

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    1. Thank you for this perspective, David. I think I’m being transparent by saying—when we go through something life-changing, especially health-related, there’s a time for coming-to-terms. Maybe the time needed is a form of grief. I hear there’s no timeline on grief. It’s one thing to want to share. None of us should feel obligated.

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  17. Have confidence, Crystal, you balance unshaded candor and reticence perfectly. Enough pots already bubble away on your stove; you needn’t add this concern to the others.

    You’re among friends here and your continuing honesty is one of the reasons (a big one, but far from the only one) so many of us keep coming back, year after year. We trust your narrative skills, as we hope you trust your friends’ commiseration.

    Sure, social media’s anonymity promotes both celebration and concern. Is the same not true of any progress in communications? A century ago, people likely had similar discussions about the telephone.

    What defies the ages is the emotion you share and which you receive in return.

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    1. Thank you, Dear Keith! I’ve thought quite a lot about if I had lived a century ago. I wouldn’t have had any routine screenings and wouldn’t have had any news to share until symptoms became more obvious. For now, I feel great. I hope you do, too.

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      1. Great points, Crystal! Wonderful to read, too, your inner happiness continues to glow brightly. That, as much as does anything else, sets you up for more of the same. The best medicine doesn’t come in a bottle, after all.

        So true about your outlook improving steadily over the past hundred years. Not even a century; just forty-some years ago, screenings would’ve helped my paternal grandmother, as well as a good dose of your sunshine.

        Enough storytelling, though. You’re in the process of curing cancer, Dr. Byers.

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  19. Your wrestling with what to share on your blog brings into focus for me the real problem–life is messy. Sharing can bring clarification or more messiness. Sharing is not without risks.

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  20. It’s a quandary, what to share, now to share, and how much to share. Honestly, my experience is being more genuine if I don’t look at those things. Share from love and a desire to share, the rest falls in place. I found this blog helpful in perspective. Take care, my friend.

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  21. “…telling stories that might not be mine to tell.”

    I struggle with that too. I listen to people and want to share their stories, but stop myself. I guess I’m leaning into Aristotle’s quote, know myself and what is mine, be wise.

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  22. The thing about posting on social media is the good thing that people will see you and interact, but you are more likely to be ignored—even before getting ‘canceled.’ I prefer being honest and just posting what I want—but still something I want to be represented as. Just like there’s someone who hate you and attack you, there’s always someone who loves you and wants more. You can only give yourself and if you truly want to give yourself, just leave it out. Someone may find it and truly love you or could make a friendship out of it or y’all could get some bonding.

    I understand that the internet is full of fakeness or artificial characters, but 99% you’re talking to a human—one that may care exactly what you have to say and means it.

    Have a nice one.

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  23. I haven’t read that book but I definitely feel that blogging leads to awareness of self and the ability to lean on others (though at a distance). These are all wonderful things though. Sometimes strangers see us differently than family because they’re looking from the outside in. As for story telling… As long as you keep names out of it and ask permission, share all that weighs on your heart my friend. Those who matter won’t mind and those who mind, don’t matter.

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  25. Pingback: Self-Revelation - Our Chaos Corner

  26. I love this. I remember reading “Their Eyes were Watching God” for one of my classes in college and feeling a deep connection to it. I’m very much a person who likes to keep true emotions under wraps. It’s a habit I learned at a young age from my mom. It’s one of my long-time goals to be heard, so I decided on writing my first novel in hopes that all of my emotions can pour out through the pages for people to read. Thank you for sharing this post with us 😊

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  29. Hello Crystal, Please check out this book, “Love, Medicine, and Miracles” by Bernie Siegel. You can also check him out on you tube. Peace and Love, Jerry

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  32. I now must read this book. I also struggle with what to share and what not to share on my blog and I don’t anticipate that changing, but I am determined to press on.

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    1. Oh Rhonda, the first time I read this book, I read it in a weekend. It’s less than 200 pages. I felt like I missed some nuance, but I still loved it. This time I am reading with students, so I now I can reflect and discuss. The ones who read really like it. Enjoy!

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    1. Thank you, Michele. I’m nearing the end for the second time and having many more thoughts. One of my favorite parts is how the novel went out of print for 30 years or so and then made a comeback. I can see why.

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  34. This 😍 “And that’s friendship—telling our stories, sharing our burdens, gaining self-awareness and insight through processing. But what about blogging? I suppose self-revelation, regardless of form, comes from a longing to connect.” is exactly how I feel

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  35. Oh how I wrestle with this one! It’s a fragile discernment process and I often error on the wrong side of such decisions. But what can you do? Our best, that’s all we got. Good intentions and lots of apologies. Hope you’re feeling strong my friend! Hugs, C

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  36. For me, writing is an expression of words that, when read, only need to touch one reader , the one who needed those words to move forward. I’m sure I overshare, but that’s not important. Words have the ability to give life. That’s what I aim toward, even when I am hurt. I’m enjoying your writing. I’m glad we discovered each other on our blogs. I am looking forward to more reading on your blog. God Bless

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    1. Thank you for these kind comments. That’s always been my philosophy on teaching — to make a true difference for one student. “Words have the ability to give life.” I love that. Looking forward to more of your writing, too!

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