Should I? Shouldn’t I?

Peace 1 Minute

…Should I? Shouldn’t I?

For the last however-many months, these thoughts were mine.

My last time was November 2019. The following January, I started school as a student again. I paid my tuition and embraced frugality. Then suddenly, COVID and months later COVID hair. This is my chance, I thought, to be unapologetically me. My hair grew wild—the silver ones shone.

Society sells at every turn, targets women to buy, and preys on our looks, the ones ever-so-solidly attached to our egos. Why don’t men run to the salons in throngs to cover their aging hairs? A man’s silver is distinguished. The societal discrepancy drives me nuts. I’m distinguished, too! I wanted to scream. See my silver hairs! I’ve earned them. Every. Single. One.

Finally, I graduated and earned an income once more. Suddenly, I confronted my masked face each day in the teachers’ restroom mirror and concluded the upper half of my face works best in tandem with the rest. While masked, I zeroed in on my eyes—one brow drooped, both had bags—fine lines etched my forehead…the mousy brown hairs dulled my prized silver.

Should I? Shouldn’t I? Should I? Shouldn’t I?

It was the Wednesday before Valentine’s Day when I had a dental appointment and a day off from teaching. With some extra time on my hands, I caved, dialed a stylist, and made my appointment.

I sat in a swivel chair before a large mirror and consulted with José. After some back and forth, he said, “I’m excited,” and left to mix my color. His enthusiasm contagious, I had a good feeling. Then, row by row, he brushed in highlights and lowlights and wrapped my hair in foil. There was no turning back.

And you know what? I left the salon feeling fantastic. I think that’s okay.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Self-love anyone?

Published by Crystal Byers

When I was young, my dad would always say, "Crystal, you can choose your attitude." One day I chose to believe him.

Published

74 thoughts on “Should I? Shouldn’t I?”

      1. And it makes for great blog writing! I enjoyed your last story and pictures of your ladies trip to Colorado. A teacher friend of mine takes a summer trip with her besties to Hawaii almost every year. Her standard line is, “If you don’t have female reproductive parts you can’t go with us.”

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      1. Thank you, Crystal. My 13yr old daughter told me this morning that I should leave my hair alone because all the gray makes me look so wise. Lol 😂

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      2. My 30yr old daughter tried to convince me to dye it all silver a year or two ago. I suppose we all have to decide for ourselves. I would like to think I made a personal choice rather than succumbed to societal pressure. I agree with your daughter about the wisdom!

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    1. All white and all silver is gorgeous. I’m learning that I will never feel my age. I had the biggest problem with my mousy brown hairs and the mask that emphasized much. I should take it off before I look at myself in the mirror. And hallelujah for good shampoo!!

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  8. I am sure you when the time is right for you and you decide to go grey, you would look distinguished but until then thank the Lord we have the option and good salons 😉.

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  9. Anything that makes you feel good and does not harm anyone is good in my books. I still have my silver streaks, maybe one day I will go to the hairdresser and maybe I won’t and that’s okay too. 🙂

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  10. Hah. I skipped a step and went bald before I could go totally grey. My wife says I am lucky to be so low maintenance. I have to agree. Stay well and enjoy doing things just for you Crystal. Allan

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  12. Hello Crystal, And speaking of hair, Someone suggested I put moose on my hair but when I tried I couldn’t get my hat on over the antlers.On well…Have a great day. Jerry

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      1. You know…I just finished a book…and the protagonist created so much drama with herself which lead to so much hand wringing…I’m going to write more about this…but I think it boils down to messages in society and how we receive them, if that makes sense

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      2. I look forward to your post. That makes total sense. I see Botox commercials targeted at 29-year-olds and shake my head because they’re buying. I don’t want anyone to sell me a look. Overall, besides the hair drama, I’m content.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. My friend told me she knew someone whose daughter got Botox at 18…and not for migraines…. It’s funny cause I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about why we should tell our kids they’re beautiful so they just feel that they are, just as they are…

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  15. I understand your frustration with the battle of the sexes in this area. And personally I find it odd that it’s okay for young girls to die their hair gray. Yet mature ladies with natural gray are looked down on. But the bottom line is to do what works for you, to make you feel good about yourself, not worrying what anyone else thinks. I am glad to know you felt fantastic when you left the salon. ♥️

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  17. You indulged yourself a little, Crystal. Feels good, doesn’t it?

    After nearly two years now of enduring all that’s happened to us, it’s wonderfully empowering to remind Fate not everything’s inevitable. You may change your mind someday, but for now at least, Nature defers to Artistry.

    Oh, as for the discrepancy between each sex’s haircare, I’ll add another one – cost. Every other month, when I go to the barber to be shorn of my unruly locks, it costs $25 – and that includes an absolutely princely tip. Probably not the case for your session with José. No wonder you deliberated so.

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      1. Amen, sister!

        Though I live now half an hour from the town where I was raised, I make the trek every other month because I’ve grown to love the barber shop.

        It’s wonderfully classic and comforting, from the striped barber pole outside, to conversations about sports and politics inside. And each visit culminates with an invigorating splash of “Clubman” aftershave. All for $25…a genuine bargain.

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  20. You deserve it! I went to the salon chair last week,…I hesitated at first as I had cancelled twice since last August. It’s self-love that does impact others~because it impacts how you feel about you. 💕❤️

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  23. I did exactly the same, Crystal. Went to have my hair cut back in a short style and let the hairdresser persuade me to get highlights. I felt so much better when I looked in the mirror. Darn those pesky eyebrows though…😊

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    1. Kerry, after my salon time, which happened to be at the mall, I walked upstairs to Sephora. I asked for help in finding a new brow pencil, and I love it. The brand is Anastasia. It’s the little things.

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      1. Thank you for the tip, Crystal! Like you, I haven’t been to the hairdressers for a color and cut in forever. It took 3 hours and endless staff (great fun). At noon, I asked if I could have a glass of wine, because it is 5 pm somewhere and it made the day perfect! 🍷

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  24. Thank you for sharing!!.. hope you had the mostest wonderful Valentines day ever!.. just be YOU and “Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” ( Roy T. Bennett ) and you won’t go wrong!.. 🙂

    Until we meet again…
    May the road rise to meet you
    May the wind be always at your back
    May the sun shine warm upon your face
    The rains fall soft upon your fields
    May green be the grass you walk on
    May blue be the skies above you
    May pure be the joys that surround you
    May true be the hearts that love you.
    (Irish Saying)

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  25. Good for you Crystal, I bet you look fabulous! I finally gave up dying my hair about 6 years ago because I was dying it the same color as my grey, which is actually white. And I have to say I love all the money I’ve saved but I do miss the lift I used to get after having my hair dyed and the variety of color was very appealing! I say do what makes you feel good about yourself and the hell with society! Hugs, C

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