On an icy Oklahoma day fifty Decembers ago, I surprised my parents with my missing malehood. No one had seemed to consider that I might be a girl, and I would be named David like my dad with no contingency for a daughter. Following my birth and my mother’s subsequent emergency hysterectomy, the hospital window—obscured with crystals of glistening snow and a valance of shimmering icicles—captivated and inspired my parents. I would be the Crystal that melted their hearts.

I suppose I’ve been more reflective as I wind down my forty-ninth year. I was born December 30, 1969. Hard to believe that my time on this spinning blue ball spans seven different decades—the ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, ‘10s, now into the ‘20s. Fifty years later, I ponder how many more? I consider my friends who have leveled up to the big five-oh before me with varying levels of acceptance. I remember my friends and their significant others who have passed on too young and too soon.

As for me, I still feel the same as that little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. Do you know her? When she was good, she was very, very good, and when she was bad, she was horrid. The baby of my family AKA the baby princess. Spoiled. Pouty. Ornery—disguised as sweet and shy.

I still feel like that teenager I once was and the twenty-, the thirty-, the forty-something, just with more experience, more compassion, and a little more fat.

What’s not to like about another year of life? A new decade? A brand new era? So many bucket list items, so many things to do, people to see, places to go, and the blue ball spins on.
At fifty years, nothing surprises me anymore. Truth is stranger than fiction. I’ve learned you can’t predict the future or plan for everything, not without disappointments anyway. Life delivers cruel and unexpected blows, mistakes and heartbreaks and devastating losses with love and joy in the midst. Life delivers inevitable bad and sad—illness, death, and natural disasters with something good in every day. There might be someone living with you and unable to care for himself, someone who hears voices in his head and screams at them, someone who slams doors in your house and causes your dogs to run and hide. There will always be people who don’t meet your expectations, people who don’t do things the same way you would, and so many situations outside of your control. Necessary changes don’t come quick or easy. Some need professional help.
At fifty years, I’ve learned to focus on the good, on the love, on the joy. This focus doesn’t make the bad and sad go away, it just makes the bad and sad tolerable. I notice my sad and frustrated, hateful and angry thoughts spawn more of the same. And I notice that happy thoughts do, too. Beside me now, I have two little black dogs with waggity tails and so much love in their deep brown eyes. These are a few of my favorite things. *Cue Julie Andrews. You know what else I love? Deep thoughts…
Seven Beliefs for Seven Decades:
The ‘60s: “And though she be but little, she is fierce” (William Shakespeare).
The ‘70s: “Do the best you can. Then when you know better, do better” (Maya Angelou).
The ‘80s: “Crystal, you can choose your attitude” (Dad).
The ‘90s: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget the way you made them feel” (Maya Angelou).
The ‘00s: “Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
The ‘10s: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
The ‘20s: “Stock your mind. It is your house of treasure and no one in the world can interfere with it” (Frank McCourt).
Numbers are just numbers, and who knows when your number is up? And so I try—to live life with an abundance of love and adventure and joy. Carpe Diem, as they say, and Happy Birthday to me! I feel privileged and blessed, thankful and hopeful, and just really happy to be here.




Happy 50th birthday!!!! I’m right behind you, and I love all the quotes, so relatable!
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Thank you for all the good vibes, Tiffany! Happy Early 50th Birthday! 🎈
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Love this post. For a few decades I have been working with the phrase “The quality of your life will depend entirely on the focus of your attention” and am loving it. It abounds with that flavor of choices, possibilities, and reminds me to feed that which I want to be.
Keep going!!!
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Thank you, Bryan! I’ll keep that phrase in mind for the decades ahead! Happy New Year to you!
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Great post! Happy Birthday! As you’ve said, there is still time to do the things you love. My Dad is 77 and still goes downhill skiing.
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Thank you, Mark! My dad is 80, and he continues to show me how to live life, too!
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Awesome!
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A very Happy 50th birthday Crystal! I’m counting down to 60 in April so I can relate totally. My mom is 20 years older and currently driving me to my doctor appointments, crazy. She’s always had 6 times the energy, and then I became disabled 20 years ago too. My 3 dogs keep me smiling though.
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Thanks so much, Val! Happy Early Birthday to you, and Happy New Year to you and your dogs and your energetic mom!
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Great post, we’re almost the same age, I was born in 71, and I’m the youngest in my family too, small but with much attitude 😊, Happy Birthday to you🎂
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Thank you, Judy! Yesterday was a happy day. So far so good!
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You’re welcome, Crystal! I’m glad you had a good birthday yesterday, I like your quotes too especially your father’s quote, good reminder❤️.
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Aww! Thank you! Thank you! ❤️
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So.. Hapy new Year & Happy Birthday ! Crystal is a incredible name, and you look like you’re wearing it beautifully 🙂 Love from France – Barbara
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Thank you, Barbara! Happy New Year to you! And Love from the US!
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Happy birthday! My brother turned 50 in June. You look way better than him, let me tell you! 😂😂 I loved the quotes (your dad’s … so true) and the song quotes at the end. May this be an awesome 50th year and seventh decade!!
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Hi Lisa! Thank you! 😂 Amazing how wise your parents become later in life. Happy Belated Birthday to your brother and Happy New Year and New Decade to you!
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Beautiful post, beautiful pictures, and wise advice ! 🤗
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Hi Sally! Thank you so much and Happy New Year to you and yours!
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Happy Birthday! What a wonderful post
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Thank you, Dear! I’m still celebrating…
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Happy belated birthday
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Thank you, Benjamin! It feels like a brand new start with the luxury of experience.
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Agreed!
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Crystal, this will be amazing year, a new decade. Best wishes in all of your journey. Your words remind me of my own journey since coming to my family as the first-born in 1956. While life has deposited some challenges and a few scars along the way, I feel blessed and look forward to enjoying each precious day.
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May every day be the best day of your life! Thanks for visiting, my friend.
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Happy belated birthday, Crystal! Thank you for the reminder “to focus on the good, on the love, on the joy. This focus doesn’t make the bad and sad go away, it just makes the bad and sad tolerable.” ❤️
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Many thanks to The Hummingbird’s Journal for reminding me of my own reminder! ❤️
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Happy belated 50th birthday fellow Capricorn! Loved this piece! I turned 40 on Christmas and looking forward to positive forward movement ❤️
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My best friend since 5th grade turned 50 on your birthday! Capricorn power and happiness always! Thank you for the follow, Dear!
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